180 Days

2011-10-15T08:36:00.002-04:00

Does anyone ever come here anymore? I often wonder. I feel like I want to put up more comics but then I just don't. I'm sorry. Maybe I will. Anyway if you're new to this page I would suggest starting at the beginning and reading them in order. They'll make more sense that way.

Mr. W out...............................................

hello?

2011-01-10T22:45:00.002-05:00

I feel like I haven't been here since September. Is anyone still there? Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I kind of lost my drive to do it.

First Day...179 to go

2010-09-02T12:47:00.002-04:00

Well its day one of the 2010-2011 school year. It is 31 degrees Celsius in my classroom. By my calculations that is roughly 94 degrees Fahrenheit. Pleasant. That is a great environment to learn in. Oh yeah and the fan I had last year ( which if you remember, was only 2 months ago) is now gone. So instead of 94 degree air blowing on me I get to sit in thick, motionless 94 degree air. The walls are cinder blocks. I feel like a brick oven pizza.

hello

2010-08-17T08:30:00.002-04:00

Sorry sorry sorry. I thought I'd have time this summer to do some strips and make some posts. Not so much. I guess I needed a vacation from this too. Anyway, I know I said there were more comics coming and there are bare with me...please. I'm in a pd session right now...and I mean right now I'm sitting at a table at a local college posting this from their computer. I don't really know if the session has started yet, in all honesty I do it for the money. Although, I'm sure I'll get some good material from it.

Later

Kids

2010-07-02T08:10:00.003-04:00

For starters, I do have more comic strips coming. Hey, its summer. Gimme a break. Anyway, this post has nothing to do with teaching but everything to do with kids. The other day I was trying to explain to my five year old daughter who Jimi Hendrix was. When I told her he was dead she asked why. I didn't want to get into the effects of alcohol and drugs on the human body or trying to explain what "asphyxiated on his own vomit" meant. I told her that he didn't live a very healthy lifestyle. To which she replied, " Oh, so he ate candy everyday and didn't eat fruits and vegetables?" I said, "Yeah, something like that." She seemed satisfied with the answer. I guess she's been listening to us.

Ya' wanna know how I know its the end of the year?

2010-06-17T09:04:00.002-04:00

The other day I was supposed to cover a class because that teacher was proctoring a final exam. I didn't cover it. I totally forgot to. I've never done that before. I was so focused on getting my own finals done that period that it just slipped my mind. I'm fried. Its time for summer. The other evidence that its time is that...no one noticed. Nobody even realized that an entire class sat there without a teacher for 55 minutes. I was told by one of the students two periods later. I guess they can behave themselves in class. We just need to not show up.

The Problem

2010-06-02T14:18:00.001-04:00

Here's one for ya'. "Hey Mr. W. can I make-up the test I missed, on senior bunk day, tomorrow in class? I'm not gonna be here after school 'cuz I'm going to get my nails done for prom."

A Walkby Molesting

2010-05-25T15:50:00.002-04:00

We've all heard of a drive by shooting. The title of this post says it all. Yes, I was the victim. I was walking through the cafeteria. Walking the opposite direction was a student. She is mildly mentally retarded and a dwarf. She said my name out loud (weird since I've never had her as a student) and as she passed me she reached up and grabbed my genitals. Now I know that she is vertically challenged so that may have been the highest she could reach and that she is special needs and "doesn't know any better." But what makes this all extra creepy and uncomfortable is that she said my name in a very high-pitched sing-songy voice and there was a slight pause and squeeze. I'm only about 30% sure it was an accident. I can't wait for June.

180 Days #36

2010-05-19T21:12:00.004-04:00

Here we go. There's only one more in this storyline. Sorry for the wait.

Hmmmmm...

2010-05-18T11:32:00.002-04:00

A good friend of mine called me the other day. I called him back at the number he gave...twice. No one ever answers the phone. A robot voice tells me that the person has not set up the voice mail box. Then it says "sorry." and hangs up. So now he must think that I didn't get the message or that I'm just not calling him back. He must be technologically impaired or something. Maybe he will call me back.
By the way. a new strip is coming. I just haven't gotten to the printers yet to reduce it. Sorry about the wait. Then again, nobody seems to like the current storyline anyway. It'll be over soon.

180 Days #35

2010-05-11T12:06:00.002-04:00

Poor Coach. Looks like he should have paid attention in science class.

New strip arriving tomorrow

2010-05-10T20:11:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the wait. There will be a new strip up on Tuesday. 3rd birthday on Sat. Mother's Day Sun. Back to work Mon.

sorry

2010-05-08T09:32:00.004-04:00

I don't have a strip today. Busy day. Its my son's 3rd birthday. I'll put the next one up asap. Thanks for your patience. Here's a sample of other stuff I've done. This was a billboard.

180 Days #34

2010-05-01T09:16:00.002-04:00

This one gets a little silly. But I like it. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it but then I realized that this is a comic strip. It's supposed to be funny and the laws of physics don't actually apply here. I can do whatever I want. Sorry Coach.

180 Days #33

2010-04-24T11:58:00.003-04:00

New story line. Every so often I hear people talk of this; the idea that teachers should get paid based on the classes they teach and the difficulty of the classes they took to earn their degree. I feel okay with it considering I have a degree in biology but I can see how some would be against it. The strip is okay but once I reduced it and re-read it it kind of seems a bit self-important. Is that a term? Mister W. kind of comes across as a stuck up jerk. Oh well a little self-confidence is good. Plus you got to toot your own horn 'cuz nobody's going to toot it for you.

180 Days # 32

2010-04-17T09:46:00.003-04:00

Here is another Sunday style strip. I think this is a common situation. I of course support sports (that sounds awkward) but in my school. We don't have enough rooms for all the teachers and students but they are building a new practice field for our losing football team.

180 Days # 31

2010-04-10T15:51:00.002-04:00

This is the last strip in "The Meeting" storyline. The last panel sums up my feelings on most IEP's and 504's. They simply enable kids to do nothing. I can think of 2 students, and their parents, in ten years that have NOT taken advantage of the special ed. system.
Sorry it was a late post. I had a PD session today. I just got home.

180 Days #30

2010-04-03T19:54:00.002-04:00

Part III of the Meeting.

180 Days #29

2010-03-27T17:51:00.003-04:00

Sorry about the late posting. Busy day today. This just continues the story started last week.

180 Days #28

2010-03-20T08:04:00.003-04:00

Not much I can say, this one speaks for itself.

I Finally Got My Own Room

2010-03-20T07:54:00.002-04:00

I just got my own room. I've been here for 41/2 years. Travelling from room to room. One year I had five classes in five different rooms. They finished the building expansion project so the evil middle school teachers moved into the brand new rooms (of course) and we now have 6 high school science teachers each with their own room. The first thing "they" did was find out when everyone's prep periods were so they can put health classes and study (useless) periods in the rooms. So we won't be able to be in our rooms prepping for labs and correcting and straightening up. There will be a study in there and the kids will touch my stuff and break stuff and write on the lab tables and all that good stuff. But I shouldn't complain. I do have all of my classes in the same place now.

180 Days #27

2010-03-13T08:44:00.003-05:00

Here is part 2 of "the standarized test." This could go on longer but it would just be more of the same. Isn't that how it always goes?

180 Days #26

2010-03-06T06:52:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty happy with this strip. I was just going to leave the joke as "But I don't lying to them." But for some reason I felt like I needed to add one more little jab at the administration. I think it works either way.

180 Days #25

2010-02-26T15:06:00.001-05:00

I didn't want to post this yet. I did this as a test to see what it looked like but now I don't know how to remove it. So its a day early. Anyway this is my attempt at a Sunday style strip. I had to reduce it a little (which you wouldn't do to a real newspaper Sunday strip) but it looks pretty good. The ink bled a little but what can you expect, its permanent marker on a photocopy. the joke here speaks for itself I guess. More budget cut crap and a little sideways slap in the face to the school committee (again).

oooops.

2010-02-25T13:59:00.000-05:00

Ooops, sorry I said anything team Canada.

USA!! USA!!

2010-02-22T21:13:00.001-05:00

Ya'know what I was just thinking? USA!!! USA!!! USA!!! Take that Sydney Crosby.

We're Back (crappy attitude ruins vacation)

2010-02-22T08:40:00.003-05:00

I think its funny that when I walked in to school this morning, it was just Monday. It wasn't the first day back from vacation it was just Monday. I didn't feel like I was just on vacation. I'll attribute that to my crappy attitude. The way I see it. Vacation really ended at 3 p.m. last Friday, because at that point it was just a weekend.

180 Days #24

2010-02-20T07:54:00.002-05:00

Thankfully, I haven't had to read this particular article in real life. I do, however, have several former students who have already or soon will be joining the military. Unfortunately we all, I think, have had a situation that we didn't handle correctly and "was such a jerk to him."
As for the strip, I always liked the way this one turned out. Its simple but I think it really works well. This is the end of Volume 1 (like I mentioned earlier.) Next week I'll begin with the next set of strips.

180 Days #23

2010-02-13T07:41:00.007-05:00

Here is another strip that clearly illustrates one of the major problems in education. We all understand that there are going to be financial issues. We all understand there will have to be budget cuts. What makes me angry is when "they" say all decisions are made based on what's best for the students when it is clear that the checkbook comes first. I'm pretty sure the two superintendents in my district have never taken a pay cut or been asked to give up benefits or had a collapsible wall built in their office to make another classroom ( there are 6 science teachers and 3 science rooms in my building). A colleague of mine went to a conference and was talking to a superintendent from a different state. This guy had no assistant superintendent and was responsible for 41 schools. There are only 5 schools in the entire town where I teach. 3 elementary schools, 1 middle school and 1 high school. We have the highest paid assistant superintendent and the second highest paid superintendent in the state.
And what about those test scores? Weren't we told NOT to base a student's grade solely on paper and pencil tests? Wasn't that mentioned in every class we took to get our certification? Yet all "they" seem to care about are test scores. My opinion, they ought to start making people take parenting classes. And issue a parenting certification based not only on test scores but authentic assessments( I think that's the bs term they're using these days). They should be able to understand and act according to all of the following, especially the bold-faced ones ( for the record, the following list came to me in an e-mail I cannot take credit for it.)


1. My rule for hormonal middle-schoolers:
Keep your hands where I can see them.

2. My first year of teaching, a fifth-grader actually
threw a chair at me. I saw him recently, and he told
me he just graduated from college. That's what makes it
all worthwhile.

3. I have parents who are CEOs of their own companies
come in and tell me how to run my classroom. I would
never think to go to their office and tell them how to
do their jobs.

4. We don't arrive at school 10 minutes before your
child does. And we don't leave the minute they get
back on the bus. Many of us put in extra hours before
and after school.

5. We are not the enemy. Parents and teachers
really are on the same side.

6. The truth is simple: Your kid will lie to get
out of trouble.

7. Encourage your child to keep reading. That's key
to success in the classroom at any age.

8. We can tell the difference between a parent
helpingtheir child with homework and doing it for them
(especially when they're clueless in class the next day).

9. Teaching is a calling. There's not a teacher alive
who will say she/he went into this for the money.

10. Just because your child says he did his homework
doesn't mean it's true. You must check. Every night.

11. Teaching is not as joyful as it once was for
many of us; we get jaded too. Disrespectful students
and belligerent parents take a toll on us.

12. Parents give their kids the pricey gadgets and labels,
but what kids really crave is for you to talk to them.
They want to know you are interested in their lives.

13. We spend money out of our own pockets to buy
things our students need, such as school supplies and
even shoes.

14. Supportive, involved parents are crucial.
But some are "helicopter parents"--they hover too much.

15. Having the summer off is great, but many of
us have to take on extra jobs--teaching summer school,
tutoring--to make ends meet.

16. Success is not achieved by just making kids memorize
flash cards and prepping them for an Ivy League school.
Sensible parents know there is a college for every kid,
and that responsibility and good citizenship are what
really drive success.

17. Nobody says "the dog ate my homework" anymore,
but we hear a lot of "I left it on the kitchen table."
And then Mom will send in a note to back up the story.

18. We wish parents would make their kids own up to their
actions instead of pressuring us to bend the rules.

19. Please stop doing everything for your child and
allow them to make mistakes. How else will they learn?
Kids are not motivated to succeed because they feel their
parents will bail them out every time.

20. There are days when I just want to quit, but then
that one smile from that one kid, changes it all.

As far as the strip goes, I actually had to alter the appearance of the superintendent because it looked just like my actual superintendent. The people I showed it to suggested I change it. Apparently a teacher who wrote a letter to the local newspaper a few years ago was fired for the things he said about the system. I am tempted to stir it up a bit but I can't afford to lose my job.

Vive la résistance!

180 Days # 22

2010-02-06T00:55:00.004-05:00

I have to say that this might be my least favorite strip. I like the layout and design of the panels but the joke is too...I don't know...its like a cheesy stand-up comedian. It sounds like something I probably said to some kid and was like, "Oh, that'll make a good strip." But then it really didn't. But of course it does have something to say and its true. Plus, you can see those fuzzy lines from that darned non-photo blue pencil on this strip too. I hate that thing now. Long live graphite!

WTF!!

2010-02-05T08:29:00.002-05:00

I had my second round of parent/teacher conferences last night. Super fun...super fun let me tell ya'. Anyway, Nutjob was there, and she asks me, "What can we do about Fuckface?" So I'm thinking,
step 1. Cut the f-ing umbilical.
Step 2. let him fail something. Let him fall on his face.
step 3. Don't call the head of special ed., the superintendent, the teacher, his stupid f-ing child advocate, and his case worker every time he fails.
step 4. Don't swoop in to try and save him. That is not teaching him anything useful. This is the kid you want to hit. The kid who looks at you and smiles, that smile you want to rip off his face and choke him with, and says, "I have an IEP I have ADD I don't have to do anything."
Step 5. Make him do his own work. What a concept. You mean we shouldn't make it some other kid's responsibility to make copies of their notes to give to him?
step 6. If he doesn't do it then he doesn't do it and he pays the price. Everyone else has to. I was actually told by an administrator that if a certain assignment I gave was going to be the reason he fails then I can't fail him. Guess why. Do you want to know? His IEP says he doesn't have to take his own notes. So any notebook related grade cannot be held against him. Great. I don't even have a textbook for this class. The notebook is everything. Its the only class I have in which I actually check their notebooks. And he doesn't have to do it.
Lets start there Nutjob. Or maybe you should just let good ol' Fuckface dropout and dig ditches or run a bulldozer or something. There's nothing wrong with that. The world needs ditches.

The End of Volume 1

2010-01-30T13:56:00.003-05:00

I don't know why I'm writing this one now. It may be too early, it may not mean anything to my followers (whom I can't thank enough for their interest and comments) or anyone who just happens upon my little experiment here but it does mean something to me so I'm going to post it. Isn't that what blogs are for?
The latest strip I posted, #21, is the first of the four final strips in, what I am now calling, Volume 1. Volume 1 consists of the very first strips I ever put on paper for 180 Days. They are the ones I reduced and organized and sent out to the newspaper syndicates only to be rejected by all of them. But the fact remains that I tried. At least I can say that. I don't want to be at my retirement party someday saying "Ya' know what I should have done...?" Who knows, maybe I can organize my strips into a book or something. It would make a great gift for that favorite teacher everybody has. Anyway, Volume 1 is coming to an end. Volume 2 will be here in late February or early March, 4 weeks from now.
Volume 2 consists of a few strips that I've already illustrated and a bunch in my notebook that I've written but haven't drawn yet. Many of which have never been seen by anyone but me. I think you will find them more cynical. They deal with the real crap that makes us all want to quit teaching: conferences, b.s. progress reports, budget cuts, nut-job parents. All the good stuff. They tend to be bigger stories as well. These strips in Volume 1 are what they call "gag a day" strips. Each story or joke starts and ends in one strip. Some stories in Volume 2 last for 4 or 5 strips. Volume 1 is special for what it is but I think I like the Volume 2 story ideas better. I will say that they may offend some teachers. BEWARE special ed. and gym. But if you don't take yourself too seriously, I think you'll see the humor. If not...too bad I guess. I'm still posting them. And they will still represent how I feel. FIRST AMENDMENT!!! Until then, Excelsior!!

Fight On!

Mister W.

180 Days # 21

2010-01-30T13:29:00.004-05:00

Mmmmmm...brownies. Who doesn't love them? This is probably the most accurate depiction of me there is. I have set up a reputation as a human garbage disposal. Its actually quite nice. There is always a former student of mine in foods class. They always bring me something: cookies, pizza, chicken parmigiana, brownies, pasta, french toast, pancakes. The brownies here, of course, just represent all the food teachers get offered. As you can see when it comes to chocolate, its usually a losing battle. I don't want to turn it down and crush their fragile egos right? We all know there are the kids you trust and the ones you don't. I never let the latter see me throw the stuff away. I used brownies in this strip but my favorite is actually the frosted cinnamon buns they make every year. I usually get them when they're still warm.

180 Days #20

2010-01-23T13:52:00.002-05:00

I think this is one of my favorites. This happened in one of my classes last year. This is a word for word account (as soon as I said it I thought it would make a good strip). The only difference is that the kids involved looked nothing like the characters and I don't actually wear a tie.

180 Days # 19

2010-01-16T13:46:00.002-05:00

Here is another phone/texting themed strip. This is the eternal battle. Fought daily. We always seem to lose. There is little support by administration and none by parents. In fact, the parents are often on the other end of the phone. This is also based on actual events. And the girls do always put the phone in a place where no one, who values their career and reputation, will ever reach to get it.

180 Days #18

2010-01-09T08:59:00.004-05:00

I used to hate it when a teacher said this to me. Now I say it to my students almost every time. All they have have to do to NOT hear it is phrase the question correctly. Its simple. I added the "business or pleasure" part after I heard my friend use it. It is brilliant because they don't get it right away and then they do get it but they're not sure if I actually mean it the way they think I mean it. Of course I do mean it that way. Good times...good times.

2010, I'm Not Impressed

2010-01-04T10:02:00.002-05:00

So, where is my jet-pack? Its 2010, aren't we supposed to have jet-packs and hover cars? I want my vacation home on Mars and a Moon base. Where is my transporter and pocket time travel device? Shouldn't we have made contact with an extraterrestrial race and shouldn't some of my neighbors be of that race? Aren't we supposed to be one peaceful world community now? Can I sign up for Starfleet Academy yet? I want a laser gun. I want a lightsaber. I want to be able to get to Jupiter in like two hours. Shouldn't we be disease free by now? Where is my robot house-maid? What happened? My childhood "future" is now and nothing has changed.

Embrace Change

2010-01-03T16:07:00.001-05:00

I wanted a new look so I changed it a little. This look is very simple and I dig it. Black and white. Just like comic strips should be.

180 Days #17

2009-12-31T14:26:00.002-05:00

This has always been one of my favorites. I do this in class periodically and, much like their pen and ink doppelgangers, my students don't get it. It would be cool though.

aaaaahhhh...vacation

2009-12-29T13:10:00.002-05:00

Hello. I apologize for the lack of posts and comic strips. I am on vacation, as you all know. I have to scan in my next set of four strips and then I will post the next one. And just think, when we go back to school in January there will only be six weeks until February vacation. Later.

2 more days!!!

2009-12-22T09:21:00.000-05:00

2 more days!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!
Merry Santa's birthday!

180 Days #16

2009-12-19T15:49:00.003-05:00

This is one of the first ones I wrote. It was easy to write because I've actually said this in class...more than once...every year...for almost 10 years...and it is absolutely true. The student character, whose name is Steve, is based on a former student. Once, he took out his phone and called the local news channel in class. I asked him why. He said he was going to tell them I was touching him. How nice. He dropped out. Go figure.

Suspended for Jesus

2009-12-16T06:27:00.002-05:00

There was a recent news story about a child, I think in the fifth grade, who was suspended for drawing a "violent" picture. It was a stick figure of Jesus on the cross. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I'm not even a religious man but come on! Suspended?

180 Days #15

2009-12-12T08:10:00.003-05:00

This actually happens quite frequently. It hasn't actually been the parents' band...yet... but they do let the kids go to shows and get home at 2 or 3 a.m. on school nights. They can hardly keep their eyes open. This strip looks a little sloppy because I was experimenting with using a non-photo blue pencil. Its not supposed to show up in photo copies so it should eliminate the need to erase but, as you can see, it didn't work right for me. Typical. Some people swear by them. Give my a regular old graphite pencil any day.

Snow Day

2009-12-10T20:57:00.002-05:00

The other day we had our first snow day. It started as an hour delay but then changed to a full day off. I found myself sort of upset. Not because that tacks a day on in June (although that does suck) but because normally I get to leave early on that day due to having last period off. I got an entire day off but I missed being able to leave early. I guess its because you kind of feel like your sticking it to them...or sticking it to somebody...I don't know who though. Anyway Leaving early is awesome and you don't have to make it up in the summer.

Hey, guess what. Its your fault.

2009-12-07T15:51:00.002-05:00

This is a message to any students out there. It is your fault. Its your fault if you didn't do your homework. Its your fault if you didn't take notes. Its your fault if you didn't study. Its your fault if you studied the wrong material. Its your fault if you didn't pay attention. Its your fault if you didn't seek any help. Its your fault if you didn't take advantage of extra credit when it was presented to you. Its your fault if you did the work but left it at home. Its your fault if you come to class without your materials. Soooo....ITS YOUR FAULT WHEN YOU FAIL.

180 Days #14

2009-12-05T12:31:00.002-05:00

Here is another school committee strip. This was written after the elementary music program was shut down and a friend of mine was bumped out of his job to make room for the displaced elementary music teacher with more seniority. He eventually found a new job (in another state) but the music program is suffering at the high school because the new guy is a miserable jerk that no one likes. We had an award winning band but now students are dropping out left and right. Thanks school committee! And yes, that is how I perceive them, as an amorphous shadowy, multi-headed evil entity concerned with only money.

180 Days #13

2009-11-28T14:30:00.002-05:00

I really don't know if my school has a dress code. If we do, its broken constantly. Especially by the ladies on senior Halloween dress up day. There's always a lot of slutty maids and whorish Alice In Wonderlands.

Another Non-existent Holiday Strip

2009-11-27T09:10:00.002-05:00

I failed you on Halloween and now on Thanksgiving too. The Thanksgiving strip that I wrote was actually the very first idea I had for this strip. It came about 2 minutes before I thought of the Halloween one. Both occurred to me on that fateful day when I was watching American Masters: Charles Schulz. I think the reason I didn't actually illustrate them was that I thought I should try to write more generalized gags and strips. Holiday strips are great but that only takes care of like 9 days out of the year. A real comic strip creator would still have to write and illustrate 356 more strips; 171 if he was a teacher. Anyway, happy Thanksgiving...yesterday. Sorry about that too.

Stickers Re-visited

2009-11-25T14:21:00.002-05:00

On November 16 I wrote about how high school students still love stickers on their tests. In that post I mentioned that I gave one student a sticker that was a picture of lettuce. Well, recently he came up to me and demanded a new sticker. He complained about how lettuce is boring and that it hardly tastes like anything and, of course, that the sticker wasn't even scratch and sniff (again with the scratch 'n' sniff lettuce.) "You don't like the lettuce?" I asked him. "No." was his reply. "Okay," I said and took his paper. I peeled off the sticker, crumpled it up and flicked at his head. He stood there with a shocked look on his face. I gave him a quick lecture about how I spent my own money on ridiculously over-priced stickers and that I was proud of him for doing well on the test and that I was acknowledging his success by putting on a sticker but if he didn't appreciate the one I gave him then he was getting nothing. THIS WAS A HIGH SCHOOL KID! He's a senior. He's a football captain and he wants a different sticker on his test. Maybe I should try unicorns or puppy dogs for him. Ooh maybe rainbows or Hello Kitty. Maybe those stickers are of the caliber he believes he deserves. By the way his grade was like an 82%. He barely made the cut. I start giving stickers at 80%.

180 Days # 12

2009-11-21T13:29:00.003-05:00

Don't you just hate this battle? I can't stand it. I've written several strips about it. Everybody is too plugged in. It becomes so much worse when you find out that they were texting their mom...well actually returning a text from their mom who sent them a text during school. I do miss the days when people actually spoke to each other or passed a note. At least writing a note actually promotes literacy. Well at least back in the day it did now the note would be written in text speak which from what I can tell is just simply writing words without vowels and using numbers for words such as "ths is 4 u" or "i jst 8 chkn". How about this "gv me ur fon or i smsh ur fce." I don't want to argue with them about this anymore but I will not give in. In the words of my good friend Marc who is the most un-tech person I know (he doesn't even have a bank account and only got an email address beause it was required for a class he was taking) Fight On!

Shame On Us

2009-11-21T13:12:00.002-05:00

Recently the state Attorney General visited our school. He spoke to the entire student body about good decision making and the legal system. He informed us about responsibility and Internet safety. I thought he was a very effective and engaging public speaker. I guess you'd have to be to become an elected official. I was proud of the students. Their behavior was exemplary. They were respectful, they listened and many asked very intelligent questions. I was, however, embarrassed when I gazed around at my colleagues. No less than fifty percent of them had their heads down as they completely ignored this man. They were of course...you guessed it...grading papers. Now I am fully aware of the amount of work that goes into being a teacher. I am one. I know that you sometimes need every second you can get. But I thought part of being a teacher was to teach the students not only content but how to be a good learner, a good listener, a good speaker, a responsible citizen. I thought we were supposed to lead by example. I guess the ones that were correcting were subscribing to the "Do as I say, not as I do" philosophy. I do wonder though, how these teachers would have reacted to half their class sitting there with their heads down doing some other subject's work during class. In case you are wondering, I was not correcting. Not because I'm political and wanted hear this man speak and its not even because I' m a great leader and wanted to set a good example. I just hate correcting.

Stickers

2009-11-16T23:33:00.003-05:00

I think its great that a class full of juniors and seniors still gets excited when they get a sticker on a test. I only give stickers to test grades of 80% or higher. The top grade in the class gets a super special one. Usually its Batman or Spider-man. Recently I ran out of superhero stickers. I was getting tired of them anyway. I picked up a pack that were photographs of different fruits and vegetables. I thought that was so cool. It gives them the stickers they love but still allows me to mess with them. I gave the jackass a broccoli sticker. Who wants broccoli? I gave out a red onion, asparagus, carrots, a pepper and one was just lettuce. This kid actually asked if his was scratch 'n' sniff. Scratch 'n' sniff lettuce? C'mon! It was great. The kid who got the highest score, however, was treated to a scratch 'n' sniff chocolate chip cookie. Is that really a treat though? They don't actually smell good. Its all psychological. Although I do remember liking the pickle ones when I was a kid. How gross is that?

180 Days #11

2009-11-14T17:31:00.003-05:00

I thought I would do a strip from a student's point of view. Of course, this is based on someone I know mixed with my own experiences as a high school student. I also had a similar experience at one of my first jobs when was 16.

Nobody Wants or Needs to See Your Butt Crack

2009-11-09T18:21:00.002-05:00

I just decided today that I am sick of this fad of girls wearing their jeans so low that the top of their butts are showing. Why? I don't understand it. Doesn't it get breezy?

180 Days #10

2009-11-06T21:11:00.000-05:00

Ain't this the truth.

I Didn't Think We Were Supposed To Do That

2009-11-06T20:41:00.004-05:00

So I went into the library the other day, during my free period, to do some work. The librarian regretfully informed me that there was going to be a sixth grade class coming in so I wouldn't be able to use my usual computer. I was fine with that. I really didn't need a computer at this time. I sat down at a table and began correcting some tests. Soon there after the sixth grade class shuffled in. The teacher followed them in. The librarian let some kid have it for being loud and they all clammed up. The kids all sat down at tables and a few got on computers to do work or look up books or something. At NO point were all the computers taken. So, in reality, I absolutely could have used a computer if I needed to. The thing that really pissed me off was that I heard the teacher say "Okay now everybody do something. The quarter ends tomorrow and I have to get my grading done." We've all been behind on grades. But, did you really have to book the library? Couldn't you have wasted these kids educational time in your own room? I don't even have my own classroom and this lady books the library for this b.s. because she doesn't want to do her job on her time and her room is sitting there empty. I thought class time was to be used for education not busy work so Ms. Pack-a-day can crunch her numbers.

Halloween

2009-10-31T08:06:00.004-04:00

Oh yeah. I guess I'm supposed to have a Halloween strip to post today. I never drew it. I wrote it. In fact it was the second idea I ever had for this strip. It came to me when I was watching "American Masters: Charles Schulz." I just never drew it. Sorry. How's this as a compromise?

180 Days #9

2009-10-31T07:53:00.003-04:00

This strip was done after we had a meeting with some administrators and one member of the school committee. The meeting was about the science department taking part in a professional development program over the summer. The meeting went well and the program was decent. The problem I had was I had never seen this woman before. She was talking about how she is in the building all the time and she knows the needs of the students. What?! Are you for real lady? I couldn't pick one member of the school committee out of a crowd. That got me thinking about how these people only make decisions based on money and NOT the needs of the students. If that were the case they never would have dissolved the elementary music program. They would renovate the building so that the six science teachers would have more than three rooms to teach in. Yes, I teach five classes in four different rooms. You get the idea.

Are You Kidding Me?!

2009-10-27T13:55:00.002-04:00

So, we just got a memo from the principal and the head of maintenance. It is a response to a recent visit form OSHA. It was essentially a list of all the things we can't do or use in the school, without prior approval of course. I teach science, so this really impacts our department. For instance, we can no longer bring in any household chemicals. So, no vinegar, ammonia, salt, baking soda, soap, rubbing alcohol, corn syrup, molasses, hand lotion, sanitizer, glue, etc. I have built an entire career on doing science with items that can be found in people's homes. It makes science more real for the students. They can relate and understand it when it is something they are familiar with. Not anymore. Also we can't hang art or projects from the ceiling. So, all those models of atoms and DNA molecules...take them down. You better calculate the surface area of your walls in your room and the areas of all hanging posters and decorations because you can only have 20% of the wall space covered. Oh yeah, no teaching, activities or disciplining can be done in the halls now without prior approval. So before you take that jackass into the hall to quickly remind him how to behave in class, call down to the office and get written approval or you could be in violation. You can't use any donated items or furniture. So the very expensive incubator and centrifuge we had donated can now go into the dumpster.

180 Days #8

2009-10-25T16:22:00.003-04:00

I'm pretty sure every teacher thinks this multiple times a day. We don't say it because we're educated professionals. Also, in today's hyper-sensitive climate, one might put ones career at risk if this actually slipped out. This strip may best sum up why I write this in the first place; to say all the things you can't say out loud. Then again if you're like me, you probably have said this out loud...multiple times a day.

SPIRIT WEEK! HOORAY IT IS OVER!!!

2009-10-16T23:20:00.004-04:00

This week was spirit week. I'm so glad its Friday. Don't get me wrong I really do enjoy the amount of school spirit my students have. I don't remember it being like this when I was in high school. These guys paint their faces and dress up all weird in the school colors. It is actually pretty cool. But by Friday I...AM...DONE. There was a group of freshman cheerleaders in my first period class today. They came in the room in a line, clapping and marching, and screaming, "We got spirit yes we do! We got spirit how 'bout you?!" It was 7:40 a.m. I had to put an end to that tout de suite. Go team.

180 Days # 7

2009-10-16T22:59:00.002-04:00

This is a battle we all have to fight. Sometimes you just run out of ways to explain something and then the frustration sets in. My problem is I forget my filter and the ball busting just comes out; but sometimes they get you back. Its good though, it keeps you grounded.
This is one of the first strips I ever wrote. This is the second drawing of it though the first one was crappy. The lettering sucked and the inking was very inconsistent. I used a brush to do it because that is how I was taught but I realized that my skill with a brush was no match for the small panel size of a comic strip. I do better with pens on this type of thing. I reserve brushes for comic book size stuff.

Zombieland

2009-10-10T08:15:00.003-04:00

Another post that is completely unrelated to teaching but, "Zombieland" was awesome. If you like horror, comedies, zombie movies or a combination of these that my wife refers to as "zom-coms", you should see this. Very well done. Humorous and enough blood and guts for the gore fans. SEE IT!

180 Days #6

2009-10-10T07:54:00.002-04:00

I love this one. I use this joke all the time. Most kids don't get it but its fun for me. I totally ripped it off of a colleague of mine but he's retired so the joke is now mine. Teachers sometimes use their position and knowledge to put one over on students. Yes it is petty but sometimes its all we got. A little joke like this can get you through the day. It is especially satisfying when they don't get it.

Shift Our Focus

2009-10-05T10:48:00.001-04:00

No parent has ever asked me if their child learned anything in my class. They all asked about grades though. Maybe we should shift our focus.

180 Days #5

2009-10-02T15:38:00.004-04:00

I think this strip says it all. I can't get all these acronyms straight anymore. It is out of control. I think eventually everybody will be considered special ed. Maybe that's what we need. If everybody is special then nobody is.

Funny But Sadly Sort of True

2009-10-02T08:26:00.002-04:00

I got this in an e-mail a couple of years ago. I found it...(see title of this post.)

*/_SCHOOL _/**/_-- 1957 vs. 2007
_/**_
Scenario_:
Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot
with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 -* Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to
his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
*2007 -* School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to
jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for
traumatized students and teachers.
*_
Scenario_:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 -* Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and
end up buddies.
*2007 -* Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark.
Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

*_
Scenario_:
Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 -* Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the
Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class
again.
*2007 -* Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie.
Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey
has a disability.

*_
Scenario_:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a
whipping with his belt.
1957 -* Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to
college, and becomes a successful businessman.
*2007 -* Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to
foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's
sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to
prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

*_
Scenario_:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 -* Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
*2007 -* Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug
violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
*_
Scenario_:
Pedro fails high school English.
1957 -* Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
*2007 -* Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles
appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement
for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against
state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned
from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma
anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak
English.
*_
Scenario_:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them
in a model airplane pain t bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 -* Ants die.
*2007 -* BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with
domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from
home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch
list and is never allowed to fly again.
*_
Scenario_:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is
found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 -* In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
*2007 -* Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her
job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of
therapy.

ENABLER!!!!!

2009-10-01T13:39:00.002-04:00

I had the meeting today with nut-job number one. Oh boy...the title of this post says it all. This parent is not helping her son at all. This kid is never going to be able to take care of himself. He's been told for so long that he can't do anything and has had so many excuses made for him. He's screwed. He will never move out of his mom's house. I actually mentioned this to him and he replied, "I love my house. Its all good." There are one and a half pages of teacher responsibilities and modifications on his IEP. And I think three lines of student responsibility. Something's not right there. Aren't we supposed to be preparing him for the world outside of school? Is his aide going to follow him to his first job? If she does that work for him like she does his school work, who gets the paycheck? He told me once "I have an IEP, I have ADD I don't have to do anything." He's actually right. The way it stands now, an aid or spec. ed. teacher takes his notes for him, writes down his assignments for him, reads test questions to him, writes down his answers, posts his assignments on schoolnotes.com, and organizes his folders and locker for him. He also walked into my room and said' "I'm gonna sleep in your class right now, just so you know." I have a hard time sticking to the modifications and teacher responsibilities when that is the kid's attitude. I had a student who was actually missing part of his brain. He had less modifications and put more effort than any student in his class. He never asked for help once and he didn't have an aide. Sometimes I feel like the only reason I continue teaching is that it gives me great ideas for comic strips.

180 Days #4

2009-09-27T08:23:00.004-04:00

I always liked the gag in this strip but for some reason I don't like the third panel. Maybe it's the guy's hair. It's too pointy and geometric and not organic enough. This strip was done during a time when I was trying to finish one strip per night. I probably was rushing so I could watch "Lost" or "Fringe". Anyway this type of thing always happens at my school. Everybody tries to look at each others rosters just to see who has the jackass class or whatever. Teachers seem to feel the need to give each other the heads up on who they will be dealing with in each class. I try to avoid it but somebody always gets me.

The Real Problem With Our Education System

2009-09-25T08:38:00.003-04:00

So it is beginning. The nut-job parents are starting to call for meetings so they can tell me about all the problems their children have. Many of these" problems" have not actually been diagnosed by a professional by the way. The parent usually reads an article in their local newspaper and self-diagnoses the child and then through years of repeatedly hearing from Mom that they have a problem the child believes it and uses it as an excuse to do nothing.
Now with that being said the majority of parents are generally concerned with their child's well-being and there are legitimate cases that need services and that is not the problem. It's the handbook quoting, freakshows that make me so angry. They just provide excuse after excuse as to why their kid doesn't do anything and never let the kid learn responsibility or how to have integrity and pride in their work. This is the real problem with the education system by the way.

180 Days #3

2009-09-19T23:19:00.003-04:00

Okay so here is another strip. A bit more cynical than the first two but I think I captured the feelings of a lot of people; in my district anyway. Plus, I thought it was a pretty humorous play on words. "Super" please, I don't even know what these people do.

Mouse Nest In My Lawnmower

2009-09-19T22:29:00.006-04:00

Before I put up the next strip I feel like I need to share this. It has nothing to do with teaching. I started up my lawnmower today and as I was sitting in the seat waiting for it to warm up I noticed two small objects fall to the shed floor from underneath the mower. Well it was really more like they were blown out the side of the mower.
I looked to see what had fallen. They were small, pink, hairless baby mice. I was pissed off because this means there was yet another mouse nest in my mower's engine. The smoke and scent of burning leaves rising up from underneath also provided evidence for this. I turned off the engine and pushed the mower out of the shed so I could see what I was doing for the nest extraction.
I kept looking back at the pink forms on the floor. They were very much alive and making the faintest little squeaks. I left them on the floor in hopes that some adult mouse, who was hiding in the shadows, would come to their rescue when I left the shed. I'd seen this happen before.
I pushed the mower into the driveway, got out the ratchet set and removed the necessary bolts and screws. There were seven. I new what was going to be there. I'd seen this before as well. Under the black engine cover was the nest made of leaves and what I think was thin strands of twine or rope. I sucked it up with the shop vac. Under this was the remains of some adult mouse...mice? I couldn't tell how many there had been. The heads were at angles to the torsos that were very un-natural and the intestines were on the outside. There was no blood.
I used the shop-vac and got rid of that mess. Under that were the remains of three more pink Microtus pennsylvanicus babies. Their skin had been seared to the hot muffler. They were not alive. I vacuumed them up as well; although I had to attach the small diameter hose and use the narrow ended attachment to get to them. I felt pretty crappy. I don't really like mice. I've owned two homes and have had mice in both of them and let me tell you they poop a lot and they poop everywhere, but that was a horrible way to go for any animal.
I did find it interesting that, based on the position of the adults to the babies, I'm pretty sure they died trying to save their young. Their brain is smaller than a chick pea but they didn't hesitate to act. The instinct for self-preservation was trumped by the instinct to protect the next generation even in a species that reproduce so frequently. I would have done the same thing. Anyway the lawn looks great.
I went back to the shed when I finished the lawn and I was hoping the two survivng babies wouldn't be there... but they were. I was hoping they were dead...but they weren't. It's weird, I slowly, carefully put the lawnmower back so as to not run them over but then I just picked them up and put them outside in the woods. They would have most certainly died either way. I guess I was thinking that if something ate them, like the 18 inch long snake I didn't run over with the mower because I just happened to see it in time, it would be a better way to go than just starving to death on the floor of my leaky, dirty, smelly shed.
The wierdest thing is, there will be another nest in my mower next time I go to cut the lawn.

Student Teacher

2009-09-16T14:40:00.002-04:00

I have a student teacher this year. She started on Monday. I think it is an eye-opener for her-as it is for most of them. After observing one class her comment was, "These kids are exhausting. They ask a lot of questions." I wonder how exhausted she'll be when she actually starts teaching the classes.

180 DAYS #2

2009-09-13T14:12:00.002-04:00

Here is strip # 2. This week will be my third week back at school and my first full week this year. I haven't reached this point yet but I know some other teachers have. But then again aren't we all always at this point?

180 DAYS #1

2009-09-10T19:54:00.002-04:00

I have been teaching for nine years. One of my hobbies is drawing and specifically cartooning. I developed an idea for a comic strip about life in a public high school. Most of the time it is written from the teacher's point of view. I call it "180 DAYS" I believe we get blamed for any and all problems with the American public school system. I need an outlet for venting frustrations so I put them into my strip. Here is the first one. I'm going to try to put one up a week on this blog. Enjoy.
P.s. I will also be babbling on about other crap that I like or that pisses me off.

2009-09-10T19:39:00.000-04:00

I'm going out on a limb here but I'm pretty sure Seagull guitars are the best on the planet.

2009-09-09T16:02:00.000-04:00

Okay. Now I know it works.
I'm not really sure why I started this blog. It just seemed like an interesting thing to do. It feels sort of weird typing this knowing that in a few minutes the entire world will have access to my thoughts. A little too "Matrix"y for me but I guess we'll see how it goes.

2009-09-09T15:33:00.001-04:00

Test Test. Test 1. Check Check Check 1. This s only a test.